Cameron and cronyism

Cameron and cronyism

This morning it has emerged that Mr Cameron is concerned about cronyism in business management and its affect on the pay of executives. He says he wants to put an end to it, he thinks it is important for businesses to be “transparent” in their methods of awarding bonuses and salary increases and apparently intends to make it his business to ensure this happen.

I think we should look at Mr Cameron and his chief human shield Mr Clegg and how they apply cronyism in their line of business, let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time in a land far north of the English borders there lived a man who many thought was a giant despite him being too short to be a giant but about the right size for a man. There was little to distinguish him from other men of his kind and he went about his business which was the defence of the weak. His name was Danny Alexander, defender of the sick and disabled. He regularly stood at the side and some times even in front of those he defended and gradually his fame became a legend. His constituents worshipped him, voted for him and kept him in his small but comfortable palace. Danny Alexander carried on his fight for the rights of those lea able than himself and his fame grew, until one day events took a turn for the worst.

Way down in southernEnglandthe Scottish king ofBritainwas slain by his countrymen and replaced by a young pretender and his minion collectively known as Camerolegg the great. Camerolegg the great had little time for his countrymen unless they were rich and could make him richer, he especially hated those who could not work and set out to force them into slavery.

North of the Border inScotland, Danny Alexander watched and waited, not silently, in fact it was the opposite, he was more vociferous than usual and eventually this came to the attention of Camerolegg who immediately summoned him to the capitol with the intention of shutting him up for good. Danny arrived at No 10 and Camerolegg were surprised to see he was not wearing armour and did not have an army with him, “he’s doomed” thought Camerolegg and invited him into the inner sanctum.

“Well” said Camerolegg sarcastically “Here we are Danny boy, in the very bowels of Government itself, what does it feel like to be part of the coalition then”?

Danny smiled and said “Mr Cameron, I am a member of the Liberal Democrat POarty and as such share power with you as no other party was able to form a Government. My part in the coalition is small but very significant and although you may think I have walked into your web, the shoe is on the other foot because you have fallen into mine”

“What do you mean”? roared Cameron “It is I who have the upper hand and I summoned you here for summary execution if you do not stop whinging on about the parasitic wankers you call the sick and disabled”.

Waiting for Cameron to calm down Danny eventually said “This is the situation Mr Cameron, and you should listen too Mr Clegg. I hold the Aces and Eights here, I have the power of a huge number of people behind me on this and I will continue to turn them against you unless I get what I want”.

Stunned Camerolegg looked at one another and slowly came to the conclusion they were beaten, here they had an MP they could not sack because of their fragility, they could not discipline because of the public outcry and they had no power over because he had no major corruption on his record. Camerolegg thought and spoke in unison.

“What do you want then Danny boy? What will it cost the nation to bring you back into the fold”?

Danny sat back, looking like the cat who had the cream and said “A seat in the front bench right next to you two, a good job, a good pay packet and pension and a company car, then I can forget the wasters who helped put me in this position”.

“Done” replied Camerolegg. So ends this tale of cronyism in Government. That’s all it is mind, a tale.